Your Horrorscope for Today
by Kuramastrass
Summary: Horoscopes don't actually come true... they're just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo nonsense. That is, until the gang starts getting killed according to their horoscopes. Can they find and stop the killer before it's too late?
1. Sagittarius

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho.**

**The following story is based on the song "Your Horoscope for Today" by Weird Al. It was just something random I came up with. And to be honest, I had a ton of fun writing this.**

**So... yeah.**

**Anyways, I hope y'all like this. So, for your reading pleasure, here's chapter one of "Your Horrorscope for Today." And would you be so kind as to review?**

_Sagittarius–_

"_All your friends are laughing behind your back..._

_Kill them."_

Who would have thought that something so harmless – well, two things, actually – could turn out so wrong? That so many people would be hurt?

It was the beginning of June; school was out, and my birthday was coming up. My brother and I had been together for almost a year – I knew he would remember, but I doubted he expected me to. I was too spoiled, to remember something like that.

But I would surprise him. I would do something nice for him. Even more surprising, I would do it on a day supposed to be totally centered on me.

It didn't quite work out that way.

I wanted to do something special for him. But I also wanted to get him a gag gift. I couldn't think of what, though. Nothing I thought of was good enough; it was all much too obvious, not creative at all.

I'd ask the others for help, I decided. I'd explain to them and ask them for their input. They knew him as well as I did. They'd be able to help me, I was sure.

I just needed to find a reason to call them all together without raising my brother's suspicion...

All the while I was thinking, trying to figure out what to get him, I found my reason. I was sitting at the computer in my room. I had a music downloading program open, and I was absentmindedly typing random words and phrases – just the first things that came to mind – into the search box to see what would come up.

I typed in "horoscope".

_Your Horoscope for Today_, by Weird Al Yankovic, came up. I hadn't heard of it, but I wondered. I wondered what he could have to say about horoscopes, how he could make them funny.

I clicked download.

I'd found my reason to call them together.

They had to hear this. They absolutely _had_ to hear this. It was hilarious.

- -

Kari was lounging on her bed, a portable CD player in her lap. "Okay, everybody, you know about horoscopes?"

"You mean those things that you read in the paper every day?" Kuwabara asked as his sister lit a cigarette. "That, like, tell your fortune?"

Kari wrinkled her nose. "Shizuru, put that out, please. My mother will _smell_ that." She turned to address Kuwabara. "Sorta, yeah. But _please_ don't tell me you actually _believe _in them. Horoscopes are a bunch of mumbo-jumbo nonsense."

Some of the people assembled started to protest. Horoscopes, nonsense? No way!

"_Tell_ them," the girl called to her brother, Kurama, over the noise. "_Tell_ them horoscopes are a bunch of mumbo-jumbo nonsense."

Kurama chuckled, and it got quiet. "It's true," he said. "The horoscopes themselves are absolute nonsense – human creations. Though the astrological signs, and the qualities traditionally attributed to them, are quite accurate."

"So... I'm not going to have unexpected monetary gain today?" Kuwabara asked. He sounded disappointed, like he had really been counting on that.

"Most likely not."

Then it was quiet again.

"So let's _hear_ the damn _song_," Yusuke demanded, impatient as ever.

"Wait. I want to know everyone's sign first."

Everyone – except Kurama and Hiei – named off their signs. They even added the signs of people who weren't present – namely Atsuko and Genkai.

"What about you?"

"I'm a Gemini," Kari answered with a smile. Then she said, "Okay, I want everyone to _really _pay attention to their own horoscope."

And she hit play.

The song ended, and the protests began again, more of them this time. Everyone seemed to find all the horoscopes but their own funny.

"That _is_ the sort of thing you would do, though, Kuwabara. Freeze your tongue to the back of a bus."

Kari started giggling. Yusuke was right. It was so easy to imagine.

"I would _not_, Urameshi!" Kuwabara started heading for Yusuke, but Kari jumped up and got between them.

"Hey, hey, _whoa_ – no fighting in the house. Take it outside." She caught her brother's eye and mouthed, "Go get some food."

He nodded and left.

"Okay," she said once he was out of hearing range. "Here's the thing." And she explained the situation to them.

"Lingerie," Yusuke suggested immediately, which earned him a slap from Keiko.

Kari smiled. "I already thought of that." She started shaking her head. "Not good enough. Too obvious."

They threw around some more ideas. Nothing pleased her, nothing was good enough.

Finally, Kaitou made a suggestion.

Everyone went silent and turned to stare at him. Kari blinked and them burst into laughter. "That's _perfect_!"

The Detective started laughing too. "Oh, _man_! I'd love to see his face when you give him _that_!"

_Everyone_ joined in then, even Hiei. Kurama's face – it would be _too _funny.

"What joke did I miss?"

The laughter stopped abruptly as Kurama walked into the room. Kari got back up from her bed, still chuckling, and grabbed the tray of food he held. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it," she told him.

His eyes followed him as she went around, offering the food. If they wouldn't tell him... they must have been laughing about _him_, then.

Some friends _they_ were – laughing behind his back. They'd _pay_.

Oh, would they pay.

- -

Later, he remembered his horoscope according to Weird Al. "All your friends are laughing behind your back... Kill them."

Why not? Who would stop him, if he really wanted to? If he was clever enough, did this well enough... Who would be _able_ to stop him?

Even better, he'd kill them according to their _own_ horoscopes. He hadn't been paying attention when everyone had named off their signs. But his sister had, he knew.

He got up and walked over to her room, opening the door without bothering to knock. "Kari-chan?"

She had had her back to the door, but she turned when he called her name. "Yes?"

He was glad their mother was not home yet. He hoped to distract her, for then she'd be more likely – _much_ more likely – to give him what he wanted.

And he couldn't distract her in the most effective way if their mother was around.

Walking toward her, he put his hands on her hips and held her close to him. "Do you remember everyone's astrological signs?"

"You realize we know at least one person with each sign?" she asked. When he didn't answer, she continued. "I'm a Gemini, Kuwabara is an Aquarius..."

- Kuramastrass -


	2. Aquarius

**So I'm back for chapter two.**

**I don't own YYH.**

**So... as pointed out by a reviewer, normally, Kurama wouldn't go all psycho-killer. But if he didn't, where would the story be? Do you know what would happen if he didn't? Well, here's what would happen:**

**He'd ask Kari again. And she'd tell him. And everything would be all fine and wonderful.**

**How boring.**

**And anyway, don't you want to see how Kurama kills Yusuke with a-**

**Oops, sorry. No spoilers.**

**But I am having a contest. If you, the reader, can correctly guess victim for the next chapter, I'll tell you whatever you want about this story. But the first person to get it right is the only person to win. And you can only have one guess.**

**So, here's the next chapter of "Your Horrorscope for Today". This chapter is dedicated to all the Aquarius's out there tonight. Enjoy.**

_Aquarius–_

"_Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-a-Mole 17 hours a day."_

When Shiori returned home from work, Kurama took Kari's CD and started listening to the song.

Aquarius came first. "There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus. Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-a-Mole 17 hours a day."

The phrase "Whack-a-Mole" brought to mind images of rubber mallets used to hit plastic moles. So that's how Kuwabara would die – with a blow to the head.

Now, he needed a mallet.

- -

He looked in the garage later and found a hammer with a slightly rubber-like head. He wiped it off – removing his fingerprints – and slipped on a glove before touching it again.

It was getting late now, almost midnight. His mother and his sister was asleep. But that wasn't a problem – he could be quiet, if he wanted to.

He silently crept out of the house. Walking toward Kuwabara's house, he wondered how exactly he was going to do this. What would he do if they were still awake, even at this hour? It _was _summer, after all.

He didn't know.

But he was in luck, he saw as he got closer. All the lights were out. They were asleep.

There was a tree outside Kuwabara's window, much like his own. He climbed it expertly, in silence.

The window was open. Luck was really with Kurama tonight.

He went through the window and walked over to the bed where Kuwabara lay, sound asleep. He smiled. He was so deeply asleep, he shouldn't feel anything.

He swung the hammer down as hard as he could, right onto the top of Kuwabara's skull.

The sound of the impact was loud and sickening. Kurama jumped. As loud as it was to him, though, he doubted any _human_ ears had picked up the noise.

But it had woken Kuwabara's cat, Eikichi. He started yowling.

Kurama had seconds to react. He _could_ kill the cat, yes, but why bother? That would arouse more suspicion, and it was unnecessary. So instead, he set down the hammer on the floor and left the way he came.

He was out on the tree branch, crouched down, about to jump, when he heard the scream.

"Kazuma! Shut up the damn cat!"

Shizuru.

Kuwabara didn't – couldn't – respond. A light came on in the room next to Kuwabara's. Kurama froze. Would she look out the window? She'd see him.

"Kazuma, you have exactly _ten seconds_ to shut up the cat before _I_ shut it up _permanently_!"

No answer, again. She walked out into the hall – Kurama could hear her footsteps, loud and angry, clearly in the quiet house. He finally jumped down from the tree – it would be pretty easy to see him there from Kuwabara's window.

He started walking back home, a little too fast to be entirely casual, but it wasn't quite running, not yet. And then, when he was three houses down, he heard Shizuru's bloodcurdling scream.

- -

Kurama was awoken the next morning by the sound of Kari screaming.

"Kuwabara's... _what_?"

She was downstairs, on the phone. He tried to listen to her. What were they _saying_?

What did they know?

"No, I didn't know... Oh, Shizuru, I'm so sorry. I know it must be hard. I can't imagine how _I'd_ feel if my brother was... was _murdered_."

Kurama sharply inhaled. The way she put it, _murdered_, made it feel so wrong, made him feel so guilty. He had just killed Kuwabara – his friend – in cold blood.

And he didn't care.

"With a hammer? And they left it – what an idiot! Did you check for – Oh, yeah, I guess they would. No fingerprints? Hmm..."

He tensed again. Would she make the connection? Would she figure out it was him?

"Okay, good luck with that. I'll tell my brother, don't worry. Yeah, I know it really sucks. I'm sorry." She sighed. "Tell me when you get that all figured out, okay? Stay strong." She paused, listening. "Okay, I will, too. Thanks. Bye."

She hung up the phone and started ascending the stairs. She stopped at his room and knocked.

"Come in."

She opened the door to reveal tears on her face, tears she must have been holding back on the phone for Shizuru's sake. He hadn't heard them in her voice. Even though he knew exactly what was wrong, he got up and walked over to her, pulling her close.

"_Kuwabara_ is _dead_!" she sobbed into his chest. "_Murdered_... in his own _house_!"

"How did that... _happen_?" he asked in what he hoped was an appropriate tone.

"I don't _know_!" she wailed.

They continued standing like that for a few minutes. Then the phone rang.

"I'm going to go answer the phone."

Kari nodded, trying to stop her tears. She pulled away, then followed her brother when he went downstairs.

"Hello?"

"Kurama? It's Shizuru. Have you–"

He hated the way she sounded. Like she was crying, or had been crying, or was about to cry. Not like Shizuru at all.

"Yes. Kari just told me. I'm so sorry." He wondered if they would hear the lie. He wasn't sorry, not really.

"We're all going to Genkai's. To... to talk about this."

"We'll be right there," he promised.

She hung up.

"Well, Kari-chan," he said to his sister as he hung up his own phone, "apparently, we're going to Genkai's."

The small girl glanced up at him, tears still threatening to overflow. Half-smiling, she replied, "You drive."

- -

The meeting was obviously to discuss Kuwabara's murder. The attendees were Genkai, Shizuru, Kurama, Kari, Yusuke, Keiko, Yukina, Botan, and Kaitou.

"I want to know who did this," Shizuru said. "I want the name of the bastard responsible."

"Maybe it was Hiei," Keiko said after some silence.

"_Sure_, blame the person who's not here. Hiei would _never_–"

"She might be right, Yusuke," Kari interrupted. "It couldn't have been some common criminal. And who else really has the _motive_?"

Of course they would suspect Hiei, Kurama thought smugly. They would never suspect him.

So while the others tried to figure out how to get proof and a confession, Kurama started plotting his next kill, wondering how long he could frame Hiei...

- Kuramastrass -


	3. Cancer

**Well, sorry it took me a while to update.**

**I don't own YYH. Or the song "Your Horoscope for Today".**

**So... the winner of the last chapter's contest was... Iris Zella!**

**Want to know who this chapter's victim is? Well, read on and find out!**

**And, again, the first one to correctly guess the next chapter's victim wins a fabulous prize! That's right! I'll answer any one question you've got! Bring it on!**

**So here's the next chapter of "Your Horrorscope for Today". This one's dedicated to the Cancers out there.**

_Cancer–_

"_The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face-down in the mud."_

He needed to pick someone else Hiei didn't particularly like. He would let them suspect it was Hiei as long as possible. The longer they suspected Hiei, the loner it would take them to suspect him.

He looked around the group, his eyes resting on each person for a moment before moving on. Now who, of all these people, would Hiei be the most likely to kill?

His eyes went around the room once more quickly before settling on Kari. He shook his head. No. Not her. He would avoid killing her if he could help it.

Even though she was the only one who had continued to laugh...

No. he shook his head again, harder. _No_. He would avoid hurting her.

"Kurama?"

Kurama looked up at the one who had called his name. "Yes, Yusuke?"

"What're you saying _no_ for?"

"I was just... thinking. I doubt Hiei will go along with your plan."

That plan currently involved getting the Spirit Defense Force to help track Hiei down and then threatening him in various way until he admitted he was guilty.

"Well, do you have any better ideas?"

"No, none. But Hiei will never admit to anything, no matter what you choose to do."

"You're not going to help?" his sister asked him now.

"Kari-chan..." He thought quickly. What could he _say_? "Hiei is my friend. And we have no real evidence to prove it was him. Innocent until proven guilty."

Kari rolled her eyes. It was clear that that didn't matter to her – Hiei was guilty in her eyes.

He briefly wondered if he was hurting his case or helping it. If he continued to try to convince them that Hiei was innocent, would they believe him? Or would they become more determined to prove Hiei's guilt?

Then he decided that it didn't matter. They were all going to die anyway.

He looked around the room again, looking for who he thought would be Hiei's second choice. His eyes settled on another female.

What was her sign? Cancer. What could he do to her?

_"The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face-down in the mud."_

Mud...

There was a spa he and Kari went to a few times, near where they live. They had taken the whole gang there once... why, he couldn't recall, but he remembered that they had all had a great time.

And she, in particular, had loved the mud bath.

- -

_It was really nice of Kurama to invite me to this spa, especially since I had such a great time the last time they took us here... I wonder what Kari thinks of this, though. The two of us alone..._

Botan blushed and quickly changed the direction her thoughts were heading. _No, he wouldn't do that. He only invited me as a friend. Maybe Kari's just too upset to go anywhere..._

The small redheaded girl had clearly been upset. And Botan, being Botan, was mostly her cheery, perky self, even though she was upset, too. If Kurama wanted to be around someone who wasn't acting depressed, she was definitely the right choice.

She slipped off her clothes to reveal the red-and-white bikini she had decided to wear underneath. She gently dipped her toes into the mud bath. Silently, she got in. It felt great – she could feel her muscles relaxing already.

_Did he have to pick one of the private baths?_ she wondered. _We're surrounded by trees here... No one would see us here if..._

She blushed again, even deeper this time. _I really need to get my mind out of the gutter... He's so good-looking, though._ She sighed and blushed for the third time as she imagined Kurama in boxers.

- -

Kurama crouched down and moved silently through the trees. Slowly, he moved toward his unsuspecting victim. He was the hunter, and she was his prey.

This felt good to him, natural, right. It was as though his demon instincts were finally returning to him after all this time. It had been too long since he had felt the thrill of the hunt.

Or the thrill of the kill.

His last victim, Kuwabara, had been too easy. There had been no challenge in killing a sleeping human. But Botan _did_ present a challenge. One wrong move, and his killing streak would be over.

He moved closer, closing in. She had her back to him. He smiled. Even better. He reached out for her. Once he was in range...

He grabbed a handful of her hair and forced her head under. She struggled, fought for air., but he was stronger than her. Her struggles grew weaker and weaker until they became nonexistent.

He left her like that, face-down. It was a perfect position. After admiring the sight for a moment, he drew back into the trees, wondering how else he could blame Hiei...

- Kuramastrass -


	4. Pisces

**Okay, chapter four. We're goin' strong. Yay!**

**I own nothing. Nothing, I say!**

**And... no one correctly guessed this chapter's victim. So... no one wins. Too bad.**

**But you'll all read and find out who it is, right?**

**And who do you think the next chapter's victim will be?**

**And if anyone would like to do me a huge favor... if you haven't already, could you go read and review my "Like a Red Rubber Ball"? Thanks.**

**So... enjoy chapter four of "Your Horrorscope for Today." Reviews are nice, thanks. And this one is dedicated all the Pisces of the world.**

_Pisces–_

"_Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos... with the Ebola virus."_

"How the hell could she _die_? She wasn't even _alive_!" Yusuke stopped screaming, suddenly thoughtful. "_Was_ she?"

Kari shrugged. "Technically, she's a spirit, but I guess if she had a human form..."

"So... Kuwabara and Botan. They weren't people Hiei particularly liked," Kaitou said.

The small girl burst into tears then. Clutching her brother, she sobbed, "That means _I'm next_!"

"Kari-chan, honestly." He patted her on the back a few times in an effort to soothe her. "We still have no proof that it was Hiei. And if it _was_ him – though that's _highly_ unlikely – I _doubt_ he'll try to kill you. He won't have an easy time getting through me."

No one was convinced. Kari kept sobbing. Everyone just stared at him, like they couldn't believe that _he_ of _all_ people couldn't see that it was obviously Hiei.

So they were _that_ sure that it was Hiei?

Perfect. It would take a lot to convince them otherwise.

Even though they were dead wrong.

"So, has anyone even _seen_ Hiei lately?" Yusuke asked after no one said anything for a few minutes.

"The last I saw him was when... the day before Kuwabara..." Yukina couldn't think of a way to finish her sentence without bursting into tears.

Kari nodded in agreement. Her tears were starting to slow now. "Me too."

Everyone else agreed with her. No one had seen Hiei since then.

"Not that that's surprising," Kurama added. "Hiei likes to disappear for weeks at a time."

"So let's go track him down." Yusuke continued as though Kurama had said nothing. "Maybe not with the SDF, since they kinda want to kill me, but..."

"No matter _who_ you send, Hiei will avoid them," he interrupted. "He's very good at not being found when he doesn't want to be found."

Kari sniffed. "Yeah. Hiei plays one mean game of Hide'n'Seek."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"So what do you suppose we do?"

"Keep your guard up."

- -

They went to Genkai's every day for a few days. They plotted ways to find Hiei. So Kurama had to lay low for a while. Things even seemed to almost go back to normal.

Then Hiei came back from wherever he had gone.

He was immediately greeted with hatred, suspicion, accusations. And as Kurama had predicted, he denied all of it.

No matter what he said, he couldn't convince them that it hadn't been him. His answers were too generic for them – Where had he been? Demon World. What had he been doing? That was his business.

Hiei disappeared off into the woods after a while. He didn't have to put up with this.

The others started to go, too, shortly after. It was getting late now; they had to go home. Only Yukina and Genkai, the residents of the temple, stayed.

- -

Kari and their mother had only just started sleeping, but he had a long trip ahead of him. He needed to leave as soon as they were asleep – he didn't have time to wait until they were deeply asleep tonight.

And he couldn't take the car. Though it would be faster, it would undoubtedly wake them. He would have to walk to the station and then take the train. At least the temple was a short walk from the other station.

- -

As he climbed the never-ending staircase, he planned out the details. How would he keep her from screaming? Not that it really mattered, but the screaming would wake Yukina... Not that that mattered, either, but it seemed almost... _cruel_ to frighten the koorime girl. She was so... innocent, so delicate.

Did she have duct tape lying around?

He crept around back, to where the old woman slept. The window was open – there was no glass in any of her windows.

Carefully, he crouched down near her bed. He reached underneath and stuck a plant seed between a board and the mattress, then he did this twice more. One at a time, he grew the plant out into a long vine. He wrapped them around her – gently, so she wouldn't wake – and secured her to the bed.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a book of matches. Swiftly, he struck a match, and tossed it on the bed, near her feet.

He watched as the blanket caught and the fire started to grow. He quickly retreated out the window. How long until she started to scream? Would Yukina make it there in time to save her?

He didn't have the time to stick around and find out, though. He needed to get back to the station and catch his train back home.

- -

What woke Genkai was the smell. Something was burning. Was it morning already? Perhaps Yukina, in her despair, had forgotten about some toast...

She opened her eyes. It was still dark. And the smell was closer than the kitchen, anyway. It was here, in this room.

Her bed was on fire.

She tried to get up, escape from the flames. But something held her back. She was tied to the bed.

She was burning at the stake.

This didn't surprise her. When she was young, psychics – people like her – were still burned at the stake. But that didn't stop her from screaming as the fire moved over her body.

- -

What woke Yukina was the screaming, as it grew louder, more desperate, more frantic.

"Genkai?" she gasped, worried. She was instantly wide-awake. The old woman sounded like she was in such pain, like she was being tortured. And was that the smell of _smoke_?

She ran to Genkai's room. She saw the thick, black smoke pouring out from around the door. She could feel the heat from the flames, even through the closed door.

She flung the door open, scared now – the screaming had stopped. And once she opened it, she received the biggest surprise of her life.

The entire room was engulfed in flames, and standing in the middle of the sea of fire was a very familiar figure.

"Hiei? What are you _doing_?"

- Kuramastrass -


	5. Virgo

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone. Now on to chapter five! Aren't you just so excited? I am! Yay!**

**Sorry. Sugar-high.**

**I don't own YYH or Your Horrorscope for Today. No, sir, I do not.**

**And... everyone was wrong... again...**

**So, if nobody has anything to do, when you're done reading this, can you go read and review "Like a Red Rubber Ball"? Please? I just finished editing it a little...**

**Anyways... ah... I'm shutting up now. Here's chapter five of "Your Horrorscope for Today". Review, please. This one's dedicated to all the Virgos... but namely Bella Swan.**

_Virgo–_

"_Expect a big surprise today... when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick."_

What had drawn Hiei was the fire.

Fire had its own aura; it was a living, breathing thing. It was alive. Fire had feelings, too – feelings only he seemed to be aware of. The others weren't aware of the subtle changes in a fire's aura that revealed its mood.

He was sensitive to the aura of fire, like the Fox, Kurama, was sensitive to the aura of plants.

Hiei went toward the flames, knowing the fire was in the general location of the temple. Was Yukina all right? Was she in danger? He needed to know.

And he was curious. He wanted to see this fire. It had sprung up so suddenly, came from nowhere. And it was angry.

He arrived at the temple and climbed through the window with the smoke pouring out of it. The fire was obviously in there. Genkai screamed her last scream just before he climbed through.

So it was the old woman's room. At least Yukina wasn't in any danger.

She was strapped to her bed. She was no longer screaming, so he knew it was too late for her. But were those... _vines_... holding her down?

His eyes narrowed. So it was _Kurama_ who was responsible for the murders the others had tried to blame on him.

Then the door opened.

"Hiei? What are you _doing_?"

He stared at her for a moment, knowing what this must look like. He remembered when he had been questioned earlier, she was quiet. She didn't want to believe it was him, and he could tell.

But she would now.

She didn't know he was her brother, but she looked up to him all the same. He felt her pain like it was his – he felt how disappointed she was.

He left. Probably not the best choice, he realized later; that would make her look even more guilty. But there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, to convince her that it wasn't him.

So the only chance he would have to clear his name would be to catch Kurama in the act.

- -

The fire finally burned itself out, when it had nothing left to burn. It had stayed in Genkai's room, not spreading to the rest of the temple – Hiei had had something to do with that, no doubt.

The temple had no phone, but Yukina had never used one, anyway. She had never had the need to. And she was too afraid to leave the temple – even with a charred, dead body in just the other room, she felt safer inside than out.

So no one else knew about Genkai's death until they showed up for their meeting.

The girl was asleep when they came in. Scattered on the floor all around her were fine jewels – jewels that had once been tears.

"Yukina?" Yusuke called.

She raised her head sleepily, and blinked. After a few seconds, when she was more awake and recognized them all, she started crying again. "It's terrible," she sobbed. "Genkai is... is..."

Through her sobs, Yukina managed to tell them what had happened last night. She was hard to understand, sometimes, but the others were patient with her.

Hiei came in toward the end of her tale. The sight of him made the distraught girl cry even harder. The others all turned to face Hiei.

"It wasn't me," he said.

"Oh, _sure_, Hiei. The _cheese fairies_ made you do it," Kari snarled at him through her own tears. "Honestly. Yukina _saw_ you _in_ there, Hiei."

"It was that_ precious_ _mate _of yours, bitch!" Hiei screamed at her now. He had never had much patience for her, and he was not in a good mood. He jabbed his finger at Kurama.

"Hiei, this whole time, Kurama's been defending you," Keiko said now. "What a way to repay him."

"A witness _is_ pretty substantial evidence, Hiei," Kurama added. "But perhaps we should search the room."

Everyone stared blankly at Kurama. No one had thought of that, even though it seemed so obvious.

So Kurama led the way to Genkai's room. He walked in, careful not to disturb as little as possible. He walked over to the bed and saw that all his restraints had burned, as he had meant them to. The body and restraints were one big pile of ashes.

The others piled in behind him, dead silent. They didn't look around at the room; they watched Kurama as he went around, looking at the room.

His eyes settled on the match. For some reason, it hadn't burned.

He held it up for the others to see. "What would Hiei need with a match? He's a fire apparition."

"He wanted to cover his tracks?" Kaitou suggested.

"I'm _telling_ you for the _last_ time, it was the _Fox_!"

Shizuru walked closer to Hiei, intent on strangling him. "I know you killed him! You never liked Kazuma!"

"It was–" Hiei began again, but he was cut off as Kari threw a surprise punch at him and hit him in the mouth. He staggered backwards, so the Spirit Gun blast Yusuke had aimed at his head just missed.

Kari took another step forward, preparing another swing, but Kurama held her back. "Kari-chan. Let's not jump to conclusions. We can't prove it was–"

She turned to glare at her brother. "How much more proof do we _need_? Yukina _saw_ him here, and only _this room_ burned."

"Yes, but this match..." He held it up again. "This match says it was someone else."

"I don't think so," she argued.

And everyone else (besides Hiei) nodded and murmured in agreement.

- -

There was one thing he could do that not even he could doubt. If he killed someone with Hiei's katana, that would be all the proof they needed.

He wanted to kill Hiei _now_, but he knew that would be a mistake. Hiei knew it was him, so it was dangerous to keep him around. But if he killed him _now_, then it would raise suspicion.

_I guess it wasn't Hiei._ That's what they would say. _So who is it?_

_Wait, didn't Hiei say it was Kurama...?_

No, he'd blame Hiei for one more victim. Then, if things went like he hoped, they'd forget all about Hiei's accusation.

Kurama knew that Hiei would never – _never –_ part with his katana willingly. So he'd have to steal it. The only problem with that was that Hiei was probably the world's lightest sleeper.

Good thing _he_ was the world's greatest thief.

- -

He couldn't believe how easy that had been.

It wasn't the stealing he had been worried about – he was confident in his ability. But he had thought that his approach would wake Hiei. If not his footsteps, then his aura, coming closer and closer. Hiei _knew_ that it was him, after all.

Neither woke Hiei. The small fire-koorime kept sleeping.

Kurama sat in a tree now, a cloth in his lap. The katana was atop it. He was waiting, waiting for a good time to strike. Her curtains were shut, but her lights were on. He could see her sitting in her room.

He wondered how this would feel. This would be the first human death that he hadn't... _cheated_... on. And he knew she would be waiting for him. She knew he was coming.

She'd been waiting for him to return since the day he'd killed her brother.

- -

Shizuru was sitting on her bed, smoking a cigarette. She had her curtains drawn, since the killer seemed to like going through windows. Like Hiei. Hiei liked going through windows.

She dropped her cigarette on the floor, then bent down and picked up the edge of her rug. She kicked the cigarette butt under the rug and ground it into the floor. She dropped the edge of the rug and straightened up. Snapping off her light, she walked down the hall into the bathroom.

She was studying herself in the mirror when she heard a noise. Her heart rate picked up. It was a muted _thump_, a lot like the sound of someone coming in through a window.

Hiei. He'd come for her.

She smirked. About time. She needed to pay him back for killing Kazuma.

She wondered if she could kill Hiei with a blow to the head, like how he'd killed her brother. Well, she had nothing to lose, really. It was die quietly or die fighting. She grabbed her hairdryer.

- -

Kurama slipped into Shizuru's room as soon as he was sure she'd gone. He moved over to the wall next to her bedroom door, gripping the katana firmly through the cloth.

She opened the door.

He reacted before she had the time to. He decapitated her. Her lifeless head and body fell to the floor, along with something else... something that made a _clunk_.

Curious, he bent down to take a look. It was a... hairdryer? What had she been about to do with _that_?

Not that it really mattered.

Carefully, using the cloth, he picked up her bodiless head and stuck it on the edge of the katana. Then he threw it down on the bed, where her parents could discover it in the morning.

- Kuramastrass -


	6. Leo

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone. Especially you anonymous reviewers. I appreciate it.**

**I don't own anything in the following installment of this fanfiction. Except Kari.**

**This is one of my favorite chapters. This one's the most random death... and tied for my favorite.**

**The winner of last chapter's contest was the anonymous reviewer KokoroXTengu. And I'll give Autumn Whispers an... honorable mention. She cheated... or maybe it's just I have a big mouth. Go ahead, guys, ask me something.**

**And who will the next victim be?**

**Anyhows! Here's chapter six of "Your Horrorscope for Today". And this one's dedicated to my best friend and the rest of the Leos out there reading this.**

_Leo–_

"_Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik."_

"I'll get it, I guess." Kari got up from her spot on the couch and walked over to the phone. "More bad news, I'll bet," she muttered under her breath. "Hello? Yeah, it's me. What do you–?"

Kurama turned to look at her over the back of the couch. "Who is it?"

She mouthed Yusuke's name. "Oh." She paused. "_No_, I do _not_ want to _guess_! This isn't a _game_!"

So they'd found Shizuru.

Kari sighed. "Yeah, I know you didn't mean it that way. Sorry for flipping out like that. It's just that... my nerves are _shot_, Yusuke. I feel like at any second, my life will be... _over_. It's like a knife hanging over my head. I'm always afraid it's going to be me next, and I never know when it _will_ be me..." She sighed again, trying to keep from bursting into tears. "So who is it this time?"

As she listened, her mouth dropped open in shock. "No way!" Another sigh. "I _told_ you already... I know. What?" She waited for his response. "_Seriously_? Are you sure that it's... It _can't_ be. He's not _that_ stupid."

She started shaking her head. "We'll have to ask him. Yeah, I'll tell my brother – I can't _wait_ to. See you soon, Yusuke. Bye."

"You sound awful cheery about someone dying," Kurama commented.

Kari sighed again and all her cheeriness evaporated. "I'm going to miss her... It's Shizuru this time. The only reason I sound cheery is because now we might have _proof_."

"Which would be...?"

"A katana was left at the scene," she told him smugly, sounding a little less depressed. "Yusuke's pretty sure it was Hiei's, but he's not totally certain. All katanas look the same to him."

"And we're going to Genkai's."

"Right. To ask Hiei."

- -

Yusuke had the katana in a glass case lined with green felt. He'd wiped the blood off it, too. He held it out toward the redhead. "What do you think, Kurama?"

"It's _probably_ Hiei's. I've known him longer than anyone else here, but I've never really taken a good look at his katana."

The Detective nodded.

"So... Kuwabara, Botan, Genkai, and now Shizuru. I wonder who's next."

"_Kaitou_, if you _like_ having all your teeth, _shut up_," Kari warned him. "I don't want to think about it."

"Aren't you a demon?" he asked her. "Isn't death and murder a part of your daily life?"

"Like _hell_," she spat. "Do I _look_ dead?"

Hiei came in then, interrupting them. He walked right over to Yusuke, and looked at the box he held for about ten seconds. "What the _hell _are you doing with _my katana_?"

Yusuke's brown eyes lit up and a smirk formed on his face. "So we were right. It _was_ you who murdered Kuwabara and the others."

Hiei turned on Kurama now, his red eyes blazing. They swept over the room once, quickly, to see who was missing, and then he advanced on the redhead. "You _stole_ my _katana_ and killed the Idiot's _sister_ with it?"

"Hiei," he said calmly, raising his hands in surrender, "I did no such thing."

"_Liar_," he hissed, jumping for him.

Yusuke sent a Spirit Gun blast toward Hiei, causing him to change direction mid-jump. "Hiei, calm down. You don't need to attack–"

Hiei used his super-speed to take the glass case out of Yusuke's one arm. He glared at him, and then said, "I'm telling you for the _last time_, Detective. It's not me; it's the Fox." He jerked his head toward Kurama and then disappeared.

- -

Hiei had been so kind to provide him with another victim. Or maybe it was just that he was lucky. Because now he was going to live a little longer.

No one in the room could have missed the death glare that he had given Yusuke. Since they were so sure that Hiei was the killer, they'd be expecting the Detective to die next.

He wouldn't want to disappoint his audience.

The meeting was suspended early. No one had anything to say. There was nothing _to_ say.

An hour or so after they got home, Kurama prepared to leave.

"Where are you _going_?" Kari screeched.

Her brother chuckled. "Calm down, Kari-chan."

"No! There's a murderer on the loose! You can't go out alo–"

He placed a finger over her lips. "Kari-chan. It's broad daylight. And I'll be in public."

Her eyes began to water. "But what about _me_?" she whined softly.

"Go to the mall for an hour or so," he suggested. "Stay in a crowd."

She stared at him for a moment, and then said, "Okay. Be careful."

"Always." He smiled. "_You_ be careful, as well."

"I will," she promised.

- -

Yusuke's head jerked up. Was that a _knock_ on his door? He waited, then he heard it again.

"Yusuke? Can I come in?"

"Oh, uh, sure, Kurama. Come on in."

What was _Kurama_ paying him a visit for?

Kurama came in alone. Strange. He and his sister were normally joined at the hip... "Where's Kari?"

"She's at the mall."

"You let her go out _alone_?"

"It's broad daylight, Yusuke. And she's in a crowd."

Yusuke nodded. It made sense to him. "So... Did you want something?"

The redhead nodded now. "Yes. I wanted to talk to you. About... what's been going on." He headed for Yusuke's kitchen.

"In the kitchen?"

Kurama chuckled. "I'm... _comfortable_ in kitchens."

_And Kurama wonders why people think he's gay?_

Yusuke sat down on a kitchen stool. Kurama began to make some instant pudding.

"So... Yusuke. How are you handling this? Kuwabara was your best friend, wasn't he?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "And I mean, we've done all this fighting, and we've survived through it all. Sure, I've died twice, and he almost died a lot... but for him to get killed in his _sleep_ like he was _nothin'_... It..." He sighed again. "It sucks."

The Fox turned around now. "Tell me, Yusuke, how does this pudding taste?"

Unthinkingly, Yusuke opened his mouth to sample the pudding. All his experiences with Kurama's cooking had been pleasant. But suddenly, he couldn't breathe.

Kurama had shoved the spoon down his throat.

Yusuke tried to reach up, to grab the spoon, but his hands were being pinned to his sides. He fought against the hold, but already, his strength was draining.

And then, for the third time, Yusuke Urameshi, the Spirit Detective, was dead.

Kurama grabbed a paper towel and wiped off the spoon and Yusuke's wrists. He waited for five minutes, and then he went to use Yusuke's phone.

"Hello. May I please speak to Keiko?"

- Kuramastrass -


	7. Taurus

**Well, here we are on chapter seven!**

**You know what this means?!**

**This fic. is officially halfway over!**

**I don't own YuYu Hakusho!**

**Yoshihiro Togashi does!**

**I don't own the song "Your Horoscope for Today"!**

**Weird Al does!**

**I like exclamation points!**

**The person who correctly guessed this chapter's death was PinkxXxPoisonxXxLemonade!**

**Well, you were halfway right!**

**Read on to find out what that means!**

**Anyway, congratulations!**

**Ask me a question!**

**So, here's chapter seven of "Your Horrorscope for Today"!**

**Review!**

**And this chapter is dedicated to the Tauruses!**

_Taurus–_

"_The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep."_

"Hello?"

Keiko sounded nervous, like she knew what she was going to hear already.

"Keiko, it's Kurama. I'm at Yusuke's."

"Kurama? What's wrong? Is Yusuke all right?" She sounded really panicked now.

"Actually, no. I was making some instant pudding, and I left for only a minute to use the bathroom..."

The girl let out a moan. "Don't tell me that you still say it's not Hiei. Did you see the look he gave Yusuke earlier?"

"I'd say that the evidence does strongly point to Hiei," he said simply.

"Will you tell the others? I'll... tell Atsuko."

"Of course."

"Okay. Bye." She was whispering now, like she thought that would help her to keep from crying.

"Goodbye."

- -

"Have a nice time at the mall, Kari-chan?"

His sister was walking in the front door. She looked up at him when he called her name. "Not really," she answered. She hung up her jacket. "Honestly, how do you find the strength to stay here alone? I'd be terrified."

"You are afraid of Hiei. I am not."

"So you think it's Hiei now?"

"Yes," he replied curtly.

"Why?"

Kurama sighed. "Kari-chan... Yusuke is dead."

"Wha–" Tears sprang to her green eyes. "What?"

"Do you remember the glare Hiei gave him earlier?"

She nodded mutely.

He hated to lie to her, but he had no choice. "I was there. I wanted to comfort him... Kuwabara was his friend."

"And you saw him do it?"

"No. I left to use the bathroom. I was only gone for a minute... and when I came back..."

"Have you told Keiko?"

"Yes."

Kari sighed now. "I'll call Kaitou."

- -

They went to Genkai's, everyone who was left – Yukina, Kari, Kaitou, Kurama, and Keiko. Hiei, as usual, was nowhere to be seen.

The group was getting smaller and smaller. Who would be his next victim?

He knew the answer to that even before his eyes finished sweeping the room. He'd kill two birds with one stone tonight.

Taurus. Hiei and his twin, Yukina.

- -

That night, the night of the day Yusuke had died, Kurama did two things. First, he broke into a bank. Second, he used the stolen money to purchase illegal drugs – a huge amount of them – on the Black Market.

Heroin. He was going to overdose them in their sleep. He was going to cheat again – not that he had much of a choice. He'd never stand a chance against Hiei if he was awake.

He would do Hiei first. He was the bigger risk. He knew Kurama was the killer. It was a shame the girl, his twin, had to do for it... but she wouldn't be in pain.

At least Hiei didn't sleep far from the temple.

Again, Hiei did not wake as he approached. He came slowly, silently. He crouched down next to his sleeping form.

Briefly, he wondered if the needle would wake him.

It didn't.

He dropped the empty needle to the ground and kicked it away, hoping to hide it that way. Then moved on to his second victim, wishing she would pose a challenge but knowing she would not...

- Kuramastrass -


	8. Aries

**Well, here is chapter 8. Yay.**

**I don't own YuYu Hakusho. Or this song.**

**Um... yeah.**

**And... no one got it. Again. But the group's getting smaller...**

**So, who's next?**

**Enjoy this chapter of "Your Horrorscope for Today". Review. And this is dedicated to the Aries out there.**

_Aries–_

"_The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty-pound watermelon in your colon."_

They gathered at Genkai's temple the next day. But it felt strange when they arrived – cold, empty.

"Yukina?" Keiko called.

No answer.

She moved through the rooms, slowly. Kaitou followed behind her, and behind him, Kurama, with Kari clinging to him. And then they found her.

Kari and Keiko began crying.

"But why would Hiei want to kill Yukina?" Kurama asked Kaitou.

His sister answered through her tears. "Because he's an ass–"

"But she and Hiei are _twins_."

The room fell silent except for quiet sobbing.

"How easy would it be to find Hiei?" Kaitou asked.

"Hiei never sleeps far from Yukina, if he's in Human World," the redhead answered. "If he's here, then he's probably nearby."

"Do you think we should look for him?"

"It wouldn't hurt."

- -

They had split up and searched the woods. Kari and Kurama had gone together, and Kaitou had gone with Keiko. They searched separately, but they stayed close enough to be of use if the other needed help.

Kari had been the one to stumble upon his dead body.

Even half an hour later, she was still crying – sobbing – about it. She was upset, upset that Yukina, her friend, was dead. And she was scared out of her mind. The entire time, she had been certain that at any second, death would be coming for her in the form of Hiei. She had been so sure that he was the killer, so sure he was coming for her. And now... now, she knew nothing.

"So if it wasn't Hiei, then who was it?" Keiko wanted to know.

"It was probably Kai-Kai-Kaitou," Kurama's sister sobbed.

"Me?"

"Ignore her," Kurama said softly, patting the crying girl. "She's just upset."

Well, that much was obvious.

"What should we do?" Keiko asked after a while.

"Take precautions... avoid being alone," the redhead suggested. "There's strength in numbers."

- -

Keiko, Kurama, and Kari had volunteered to with Yusuke's wake. Of course, Atsuko wasn't exactly great to be around.

"First by a car, and now by a spoon!" she yelled, beginning to throw things. Keiko and Kari ducked as an empty beer bottle came flying their way. It flew into the wall behind them and shattered. "What a _loser_!"

Keiko sighed and grabbed the broom, sweeping the shards of broken glass into the dustpan Kari held waiting.

"Honestly, shouldn't Atsuko be _helping_ us?" the brunette asked under her breath.

"She's giving us more work," Kari said. "The more I have to do, the less I have to think."

Keiko nodded as she swept up the last of the pieces. Kari dumped the dustpan. Atsuko began screaming at her son again, but the three teenagers drowned her out.

Kurama went into the fridge and grabbed a beer.

Kari's eyes narrowed. "You don't drink."

"It's not for me, Kari-chan, don't worry. It's for Atsuko."

"She doesn't need any more. She's drunk enough," Keiko told him.

"We should let her mourn in the way she feels most comfortable," he replied. "And perhaps she'll pass out soon."

He walked out into the other room, silently opening the bottle. He slipped the poison into the drink. He was glad this was a slow-acting poison... she wouldn't die while they were still here.

"Choked on a fucking spoon! Oh, _thank_ you, _Kurama_!" She eagerly reached for the bottle. He gave it to her.

- -

"Ugh... I don't feel so good..."

Atsuko moaned in the darkness. She didn't feel good at _all_. She felt terrible.

When she moved to get up, she started coughing. She was coughing so hard it was causing her pain. She finally managed to swing over to her side, and then she started vomiting.

Alcohol. Half-digested food. Blood.

After a few minutes of this, she slowly – painfully – died.

The autopsy the next day couldn't determine the exact cause of her death, but it did find, among other things, that her colon had exploded.

- Kuramastrass -


	9. Libra

**Hey, everyone. Just so you know, I might not be updating quite as often... I'm sorta grounded, you see.**

**Anyhow, this is chapter nine. And no one correctly guessed this chapter's victim.**

**Oh, and since I'm grounded, I won't be responding to reviews. But I'll still read them. Feel free to still review. I mean, don't let the fact that I won't be replying anymore stop you.**

**So...**

**One thing, though: I've had two people ask me why the people from the Dark Tournament (Chu, Jin, Touya, etc.) haven't been included in the people/demons I've been killing off. Well, there are three reasons.**

**One: I wasn't thinking about them as I was planning the fic. out.**

**Two: They aren't handy. Think about it. Just about everyone who dies in this fanfiction was in Kari's room in chapter one. (There are three exceptions, who I won't name since they're not all dead yet.) They're in Demon World somewhere.**

**Three: What would Jin's sign be? Or Touya's? Or Chu's? And anyway, if you listened to Kurama in the first chapter, horoscopes are stupid human creations. Jin and Touya and Chu and them most likely don't believe in these things.**

**Yeah, I think that's all I've got to say. Who will chapter ten's victim be? Take a guess.**

**So... enjoy chapter nine of "Your Horrorscope for Today"! Review! And this chapter is dedicated to the Libras... My dad's a Libra. Too bad he's still alive...**

_Libra–_

"_Laughter is the very best medicine; remember that when your appendix bursts next week."_

"They got Atsuko last night."

"Keiko, I'm so sorry. She was like family to you, wasn't she?"

"Who was it now?" Kari yelled from the other room.

Kurama covered the receiver with his hand. "Atsuko."

"Yeah, she was," Keiko continued. "She was like my crazy aunt."

"Do you want us to come to Genkai's?"

"No, I don't feel like making such a long trip right now..."

"Would you like to come here, then?" he offered.

"Yeah. I'll do that."

"I'll call Kaitou."

He hung up. Kari turned to look at him over her shoulder. "Are they coming here?"

"Yes." He started dialing. "Hello. Kaitou?"

- -

The meeting wasn't really much of anything. They were silent almost the entire time. More than anything, it was just for comfort. If they died now, they all died together.

But the feeling of safety could only last so long. Kaitou and Keiko eventually had to go home.

"Do you think Mother will be all right?"

The two redheaded siblings were laying together on Kurama's bed. They weren't doing anything – Kari was too upset to do anything. And she was afraid to sleep alone.

"Atsuko was aware of the Spirit World, however slightly," he reminded his sister.

They were silent. Then Kari sighed. "I guess I'll have to sleep in my own bed tomorrow... she'll be back."

He smiled. "I like your bed better, in any case."

"You know what I mean," she grumbled. But he _had_ succeeded in getting her to smile.

- -

Their mother, Shiori, returned from her business trip the next day. Kari's eyes followed her wherever she went, worried, when she thought her mother wouldn't notice.

Kurama spent a lot of time watching her, too, but not for the same reason.

He was going to kill her.

She was his mother. She had taught him so much during his life as a human. But sooner or later, she was going to die.

And he was going to be the one who killed her.

- -

The killer stood on Kaitou's front porch, though the teenage human would never have known that.

Kari had thrown a fit when she found out he was planning on leaving. He had finally – somehow – convinced her that if she stayed close to her mother, she would be all right.

Katiou was going to be his next victim. He was running low on options. He had no idea what to do to Keiko – her horoscope hadn't suggested anything. He was drawing a total blank. Kari... he had a vague idea of what he was going to do to her, but he was going to avoid that if possible. And possibly the easiest to kill of all, Shiori...

How easy it would be to kill her. She was only human. And she was always so sickly... she was so weak.

But first, Kaitou. Of the four left, he was the most likely to suspect him.

He knocked on the door.

Kaitou answered it. "Oh, Shuichi. What are you doing here?"

"I thought perhaps playing a game of strategy would help relieve some stress."

"Why not play with Kari?"

He chuckled. "She's predictable. A brilliant strategist, yes. But I know how her mind works. And besides, she's in no mood to play games."

His eyebrows went up in pleasant surprise. "You find me a more challenging opponent."

He nodded. "I find you less predictable."

- -

They played chess, Risk, battleship, any strategy game they could find. They even played a round or two of a game similar to the one they played in the house of three dimensions. Kaitou did seem more comfortable after a while. He was focusing on trying to out-think, to out-strategize, his greatest intellectual rival.

Eventually he got up to use the bathroom. Kurama slipped two plants into his drink. Like with Atsuko, neither of them would react right away.

The first would cause his appendix to burst. The second would give him a deadly infection.

- -

"Hey," Kari called to her brother. It was two days later. "Do you know someone named... Asato Kido?"

"I believe he's a friend of Kaitou's," Kurama answered. "The one with the shadow ability, if I remember correctly."

"Well, he wanted to talk to you." She held out the phone to him. "It sounded important."

He took the phone from her. "Hello?"

"Yeah, it's Kido. Is this Kurama?"

"Yes."

"I wanted to tell you... Kaitou... is dead."

- Kuramastrass -


	10. Scorpio

**Hi, everyone. My parents are out and I lied about homework.**

**So let's get to reading another chapter! Yay!**

**I don't own YuYu Hakusho and I don't own Your Horoscope for Today.**

**I think this is the shortest chapter in the entire story... just to warn you of that.**

**Um, I was asked how Kaitou died. His appendix burst (which I don't think would actually kill anyone) and he got this deadly infection.**

**So... after this, we're down to two victims. Wow.**

**So I guess it would be pointless to try to guess the next chapter's victim, huh?**

**Anyway, enjoy chapter ten of "Your Horrorscope for Today". Read and review, please. And this one's dedicated to the Scorpios.**

_Scorpio–_

"_Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window."_

Kari called Keiko to break the news to her.

And now there were only three left – his sister, his mother, and Keiko. Still he had no idea what to do to Keiko. And Kari... still he wanted to avoid killing her. But the same went for his mother. If he had to choose one of them over the other, who would it be?

"Yeah, I know. This is getting seriously scary. I don't want to die, Keiko," she sobbed. "I don't want to die."

The way her crying, her anxiousness, her fear cut at him... He knew he had his answer. He'd pick Kari.

So Shiori would be the next to die.

- -

"Oh, Shuichi. I didn't expect to see you here."

He smiled. It was easy – he'd been smiling like this, smoothly, perfectly, at her his entire life. "I just came to see how you were doing, Mother."

She coughed, then said, "It's just a checkup." But she smiled, pleased by the fact that her son – Shuichi, her perfect son – cared so much about her.

He smiled again in response. But there was something different about it. This wasn't a fake smile – he was truly glad. Sickeningly so.

How easily she swallowed his lies.

"Would you like to come for a walk, Mother?" he asked. When it looked like she might protest, he added, "It would be good for you. You need to stretch your legs."

The woman smiled warmly at him again. "Of course, you know best."

They walked down the hall and turned the corner. At the end of his hallway, a dead end, was the window with the prettiest view.

"How lovely," she murmured as her son slid open the window.

And suddenly, she was falling.

Kurama turned and walked back. He didn't need to stick around to confirm her death; there was no need to. She was only human – a frail, sickly, weak human.

And she had fallen from the fourth floor.

- Kuramastrass -


	11. Gemini

**I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. Oh, and Armed'n'Strangerous, I hope you'll like this one.**

**I want to make two quick remarks to reviewers.**

**Reviewer: Sick. Twisted. I never thought I would say that about my favorite character.**

**Authoress: I know, isn't it great? He's my favorite character, too, you know.**

**Reviewer: What kind of sicko kills their own mother?**

**Authoress: Lizzie Borden.**

**So... this is the second-last victim. I hope you all enjoy.**

**Oh, yeah. The disclaimer. I don't own YuYu Hakusho, and I don't own the song "Your Horoscope for Today".**

**So... here's chapter eleven of "Your Horrorscope for Today". Review, please, it would be appriciated. And this one's dedicated to the Geminis... especially Armed'n'Strangerous. Please don't hate me for this. I love you.**

_Gemini–_

"_Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancée hurls a javelin through your chest."_

"Kari-chan..."

Kari looked up. "What is it?"

"I have some bad news about Mother..."

"They got her!" She instantly burst into tears. "Why her? Why?"

It was quiet for a time except for Kari's sobbing. Then she asked, "How... did she... _die_?" She almost choked on the last word.

Kurama paused, hesitant. Then he told her, "She fell from a fourth-floor window."

"Was _pushed_."

"Yes, probably."

Something was wrong here. He didn't seem... upset enough. Not that she was saying he had to be upset a certain amount. But it didn't... feel... _right_.

Her gut feeling had never been wrong before, and she wasn't going to ignore it now. There was something else that nagged at her, too.

_"She fell from a fourth-floor window."_

She got up and went upstairs. Kurama didn't follow her. When she was in her room, quietly, so he wouldn't hear, she played the CD she'd made two weeks ago.

Your Horoscope for Today.

She listened to it once all the way through. And then it all made sense. Somehow, they'd all died according to their horoscopes. To their horoscopes according to _this_ song.

She listened to the song once again, and it sent shivers up her spine. The cheery nature of the song disturbed her. It felt all wrong. Before, when she had first heard the song, it had reminded her of a carnival.

It would have been more fitting if the song had been slower, creepier. Because now it was the theme song of a deranged carnival from out of a nightmare. Your Horoscope for Today? More like Your _Horrorscope _for Today.

So now Kari knew who the killer was. It had to be her brother. It made sense. He was a Sagittarius. And he had asked what everyone's signs were...

Her brother was the killer.

Strangely... she was okay with that.

She felt that she should warn Keiko, though. It would only be fair to give her some warning, since she would be next. She put on a jacket and slipped the CD into her pocket. Then she walked downstairs.

"I want to go see Keiko," she announced.

"Why?"

"She's the only other one... left."

He nodded. "I'll walk you there."

- -

"They got my mother."

"I'm so sorry..."

Kari and Keiko were upstairs, in Keiko's room. Kari had already taken the CD out of her pocket and passed it to Keiko, though she hadn't said what it was. They sat in silence.

"I think I know who the killer is."

Keiko's head snapped up.

"I don't know for sure... I only think."

"Who is it?"

"You know what I've noticed, though?" Kari continued, as if Keiko hadn't said anything. "They've all died according to their horoscopes."

"What?"

She didn't have time to explain. She had so little time; she needed to say as much as she could. "He's a Sagittarius."

"Who?"

"My–"

She was interrupted by Kurama walking into the room. "Kari-chan, we have to leave."

For a second, she froze. How much had he heard? Then she said, "Okay."

She got up and pulled Keiko into a hug. "Good luck," she whispered before pulling away.

She would need it. She'd be next.

Surely her brother would never hurt her.

- -

The whole walk home they had been silent. He was upset – obviously. She wondered what it was that was bothering him, wanted to comfort him in any way she could... but she couldn't do that if she didn't know the reason.

Upon entering the house, Kurama walked into the kitchen. Kari followed him. She moved close to him, leaning against the counter. "What's wrong?"

He said nothing.

"You can tell me. You can tell me anything. Please. What's wrong?" She _had_ to know – it was causing her so much pain to be able to do nothing.

"I can't tell you this," he said in a strained whisper.

She winced when he spoke – it sounded like he was in pain.

Then she took a step back.

"It's you, isn't it?" Silence confirmed her answer. She took another step back. "It's you. You're the one behind the murders."

Still she felt no fear for herself. Still she believed that he would never hurt her. But now... though she was absolutely certain she was in no danger, she was angry.

"That woman you just killed? The one that you _pushed_ from that _window_? She was our _mother_!" she screamed. "Doesn't that _mean_ anything to you?"

There was a subtle change in the air. Kari felt it, but she ignored it.

"Yusuke? Kuwabara?" she continued. "Those people were our _friends_!"

There was a more drastic change in the air now. Her heart sank as she looked up at her brother.

"I won't tell anyone, though. Honestly." She started backing away. "Really, I won't."

He didn't answer her.

She kept backing away, begging now. "Please. Please! I won't tell. You could murder all of _Tokyo_ and I wouldn't tell! Please! Please don't kill me, please!"

So quickly that she almost didn't see what happened, her brother grabbed a butter knife off the counter and flung it at her.

- -

His aim was perfect. The knife went through the middle of her chest.

She crumpled to the floor.

For the first time, he actually felt something close to remorse. Not because she was his sister, not because she was his lover...

Because she looked so much like him.

He started to walk away, but then he heard her moan. Wasn't she _dead_ yet?

He walked back over to her. Standing over her, he started chuckling. "Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancée hurls a javelin through your chest," he quoted. "How fitting."

Kari managed – with effort – to open her eyes. The look in her eyes was torn – like she couldn't decide whether to cry or yell at him.

"Why?" she asked him. "Surely you're not so far gone as to deny me my last wish. Tell me why."

Slowly, he shook his head. "You would never understand." Then he knelt down next to her. Carefully, he reached out to cradle her face, then leaned in to kiss her.

By the time he pulled away, she was dead.

- Kuramastrass -


	12. The Final Game

**Sorry to disappoint, people, but no one dies in this chapter. If you want to read about the next victim's death, wait until the next chapter.**

**Now that that's out of the way...**

**I don't own YuYu Hakusho!**

**I don't own Your Horoscope for Today, either, but that's another story.**

**Hmm... this chapter's kinda short, but... it's a very important chapter. You'll see.**

**Only two more to go now!**

**So... enjoy the chapter twelve of "Your Horrorscope for Today". **

"_Now you may find it inconceivable, or at the very least, a bit unlikely, that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special, deep significance, or meaning, that exclusively applies to only you." _

There was only one left.

Keiko was the only one Kurama hadn't killed, and still he had no idea what to do to her. He looked around Kari's room for the CD, but he didn't find it. Not that he needed it. He had it memorized.

He repeated her horoscope in his head, once, twice. What could he _do_ to her?

Then he had it. He'd let her figure it out. She was smart; she would eventually. Then, when she did, the moment she next went outside she would die.

Perfect.

Now, he had a phone call he needed to make.

- -

She couldn't believe it. Kari was gone now, too. She and Kurama were the only ones left alive.

The last conversation she had had with the girl kept replaying in her head.

_"You know what I've noticed, though?" She leaned in toward her, moving her head slightly closer. Her bright green eyes were glittering. "They've all died according to their horoscopes."_

_"What?"_

_Her eyes were frantic now, serious. She had to say this __now__. "He's a Sagittarius."_

_"Who?"_

_"My–"_

What had Kari been about to say? Surely not "my mother" since Shiori was already dead. And she had said, "_He's_ a Sagittarius."

But why did that even _matter_?

She wondered what the CD Kari had given her was. Why had she given it to her, then whispered "good luck" as she was leaving?

Those had been her last words. _Good luck._

Keiko put it in her CD player/radio and hit play. She recognized the song. Your Horoscope for Today.

_"They've all died according to their horoscopes."_

_"Horoscopes are a bunch of mumbo-jumbo nonsense."_

She listened to the song all the way through once. Then she got a notebook and wrote down the signs, then the lyrics. Then, she added names.

And saw there was a pattern.

_"They've all died according to their horoscopes."_

This must be what Kari was talking about.

She knew she was a Capricorn, and Yusuke was a Leo. Kuwabara was an Aquarius; she remembered the joke Yusuke had made. She remembered Atsuko was an Aries after a while, but the others took more work – she had to work backwards, remembering their death and then matching it to a horoscope.

They all matched.

_Aquarius: There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus. Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-a-Mole 17 hours a day._

_Kuwabara – head smashed in_

_Pisces: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos... with the Ebola virus. You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say._

_Genkai – burned alive_

_Aries: The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty-pound watermelon in your colon. Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf and give a hickey to Meryl Streep._

_Atsuko – exploded colon_

_Taurus: You will never find true happiness; what'cha gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep._

_Hiei and Yukina – overdosed in their sleep_

_Gemini: Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence. Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancée hurls a javelin through your chest._

_Kari – knife through chest_

_Cancer: The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face-down in the mud. Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test._

_Botan – drowned in a mud bath_

_Leo: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh, no. Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik._

_Yusuke – choked on a spoon of instant pudding_

_Virgo: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent except for you. Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick._

_Shizuru – decapitated_

_Libra: A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than you. Laughter is the very best medicine; remember that when your appendix bursts next week._

_Scorpio: Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window. Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak._

_Shiori – pushed from a window_

_Sagittarius: All your friends are laughing behind your back. Kill them. Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den._

_Kurama – the killer_

_Capricorn: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying._ _If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never, never, never, never, never leave my house again._

_Keiko –_

Her own name, waiting there for a cause of death, gave her the shivers. Then it hit her.

She was going to die.

Kurama was going to kill her. The moment she stepped out of the house, her life would be over. That _must_ have been what Kari was about to say – my brother.

She had a chance, though. Her horoscope was a warning. But if she disobeyed...

Suddenly feeling paranoid, she got up and started locking her bedroom windows.

- -

Kurama sat on the roof of the house next door, watching the girl through her window. She got up and started playing with the lock, a look of panic and fear on her face.

So she'd figured it out. Good. He smiled.

The final game could begin.

- Kuramastrass -


	13. Capricorn

**I dedicate this chapter to myself!**

**I don't own YuYu Hakusho!**

**And don't think we're done. Oh, no. This is Keiko's chapter, and she's the last victim... but there's one more chapter. Stick with me for that one last chapter, okay?**

**So... here's chapter thirteen of "Your Horrorscope for Today". And this one is dedicated to all the Capricorns... and myself.**

_Capricorn–_

"_If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never, never, never, never, never leave my house again."_

Keiko was _so_ glad she didn't have school. All her friends – the ones that were still alive – were away at summer camp. She had no reason to go outside if she didn't want to.

But even though she knew that she wouldn't die until she stepped foot outside, she didn't sleep well that night. Small noises that normally wouldn't have bothered her seemed especially loud and kept her up all night, terrified.

"You look like a zombie," her dad said jokingly when she came downstairs the next morning.

She grunted a response.

"Hey, Keiko, can you take the garbage out?" her mother asked her.

Suddenly she was wide-awake. "No!" she screamed. Tears began falling. She was crying – crying in fear. "I can't go outside!"

"Why not?"

She couldn't exactly explain why. She couldn't tell them everything – she couldn't tell them about Spirit World or Spirit Detectives or psycho demons that were out to kill her. So she told them what she could. "There's a _murderer_ out there!"

"Keiko, honey, I know you're upset about Yusuke and Atsuko," her dad said, "but the five minutes you're outside..."

"No!" she shrieked. "You don't understand!" Now she was sobbing. "You don't _understand_!"

In the end, they practically shoved her out the front door. Hysterical, she began banging on the door, crying, and screaming to be let back in.

When they didn't let her back in, she tried to think logically. Maybe they were right. She had no choice but to take out the garbage, since her parents wouldn't let her back in until she did. Maybe, _maybe_, if she was quick enough...

She grabbed the trash bag and sprinted around the corner of the house into the side alley.

- -

Kurama waited in the darkness, his eyes closed. He heard Keiko's footsteps moving toward him, quickly.

He opened his eyes. _He_ could see _her_, but _she_ couldn't see _him_. He reached out for her, grabbing her, covering her mouth to muffle her scream. His right hand was over her mouth, his left arm firmly around her waist.

She struggled against him like a caged tiger. She kept trying to scream, but the sound was quieted by the hand.

He clamped the hand over Keiko's mouth tighter, hoping to suffocate her. What a fitting end for her, he thought: to die in a way similar to Yusuke. He stuck two of his fingers up her nose. Disgusting, yes. But he hoped it would help her to die faster.

Her struggles grew weaker and weaker, until they finally stopped. Kurama dropped the body to the ground.

He slunk away as quietly, as carefully, as he could. He needed to be away from here, as far away from here as possible. Then he realized that it didn't matter.

His fingerprints were all over the girl's body.

He swore to himself. After being so careful, working _so_ hard not to get caught, they would catch him. At least she was the last victim.

Because now he had no choice but to end his _own_ life.

What would be the best way? How should he do this? Then he realized that that didn't matter, either – there was no one left for him to protect. He didn't need to make this easy for anyone but himself.

So the quickest, least painful way possible, then.

He came to an empty clearing in the middle of a forest. He stopped. This was the perfect place. Summoning his rose whip, he sliced off his own head.

- Kuramastrass -


	14. A Second Chance

**This one's dedicated to the people who actually read my author's note for the last chapter and figured out that this chapter was coming.**

**I don't own squat. I hardly own my brain right now, since I'm half-asleep and hyped up on caffeine. And I'm annoying my cousin to death.**

**Um... yeah.**

**So... uh. Oh, I wanted to get this out on Christmas, but I was grounded. So I hope you all accept my late Christmas present. Merry Christmas to all!**

**Um... and, yeah, I'm working on a sequel. Be patient, though. It'll be a while. I have so many other things I want to start, and plus the last part of the Tricycle Trilogy needs to get done...**

**Um... I'm just gonna get this posted before my dad gets home.**

**I hope this wraps everything up nice and neat for everyone. I hope everyobe feels... sorta like, closure. Like when you read the last chapter of a book. You feel satisfied but it sets up for the sequel. Like at the end of the Twilight movie. The very, very end, the last, like, ten seconds with Victoria. You know?**

**And please, R&R my other fics. That would be nice.**

**So, enjoy the final chapter of "Your Horrorscope for Today". Here's chapter fourteen, "A Second Chance". **

"_But let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true."_

They were all waiting for him.

Actually, three of them were missing – Atsuko, Shiori, and Genkai. But the rest of them stood waiting for him, angry looks on their faces.

Yusuke took a step forward, obviously intent on hitting the redhead. Instantly, Kari was between them, her back to her brother.

Even after all he'd done, she was defending him?

"Get out of the way, Kari," the Detective growled.

"You promised me we'd do this without violence, Yusuke," she said.

"Get out of the–"

"You promised!"

Yusuke sighed and stepped back, and the girl immediately ran back to the crowd, positioning herself behind Keiko.

"What the _hell_, Kurama?"

"You _stabbed_ me!" Kari whined. "You _stabbed_ me on my _birthday_!" Her voice broke, and she started crying.

"Actually, Kari-chan, I technically didn't stab–"

"I don't care! It was my _birthday_!"

They were quiet for a while, except for Kari's sobbing.

"Where are Atsuko, Genkai, and Moth–"

_"Don't you call her that!"_

Botan answered Kurama's question. "They've all... moved on."

Yusuke nodded. "My mom was... weirdly okay with being dead." He swallowed. "She said she always knew her drinking would kill her."

"Genkai didn't want to wait for you," Yukina added.

"Mother knows everything _about_ us now!" Kari screamed at him through her tears. "Are you _happy_?"

He didn't answer her, and it became silent again. Kari's tears began to slow and eventually stopped. "It was that day, wasn't it?" she asked. "Before Kuwabara... and the song."

He nodded.

She had told them all about that when she had joined them – her brother was a Sagittarius. "All your friends are laughing behind your back... Kill them."

"We weren't laughing at _you_," she said now. "I told you it was nothing to worry about."

"What... were you laughing at, then?"

She took a deep breath. "I was going to get you a gag gift. Japanese for Dummies."

The murders hadn't bothered him before – he was a demon. People died. But now they did very much, now that he knew what he'd killed them in cold blood for.

He had committed twelve murders and a suicide over _Japanese for Dummies_?

Koenma showed up then. He walked between the crowd and Kurama, and then turned to stand facing the redhead. "The rest of you can go on the Heaven. Botan will show you the way. I'm going to send Kurama to Hell."

Kari broke away from the crowd again and walked over to her brother. Standing next to him, her firmly clamped her arms around his waist.

"What are you _doing_?"

She looked directly at Koenma and spoke firmly. "_My_ definition of Hell is being separated from him. So if _he's_ going to Hell, then _I_ am, too."

It was silent. Then Kuwabara screamed, "That doesn't make _any_ sense!"

Keiko and Yukina disagreed. "Yes, it does."

Kurama looked down at his sister, warmth in his eyes for the first time in a while. "I don't deserve you."

She smiled. "I know you don't."

Koenma ignored the commentary, preparing to send the two redheads to Hell. Then Yusuke broke his concentration.

"You're not really sending Kari to _Hell_, are you, Koenma? What did _she_ do?"

"It's _her _choice, Yusuke. What else can I _do_?"

"What if he's sorry for what he did?" Keiko asked. "Don't you give second chances?"

_No, we don't._ But since ghosts are as strong as their emotions, he wasn't going to tick them all off. And Kurama wasn't exactly a normal case anyway.

"_Sure_," he said. "We let _Hitler_ into Heaven."

"You... _what_?"

"He said he was _sorry_ for causing the deaths of six million people," he answered, rolling his eyes.

Kari looked up to her brother again. "You're sorry, right?"

He smiled at her. He knew that if he said no, she'd re-think her decision to go to Hell.

"Of course," he said.

And he meant it.

- -

Koenma wouldn't let any of us come back to life – he said it was because Genkai had passed on. If she had decided to wait, then he would have brought us all back to life.

But so far, being dead really hasn't been so bad.

The only bad thing is having to deal with our mother. Every time we see her, we have to see the suspicion and hurt in her eyes.

Of course, everyone's still mad. Hiei and Kuwabara are the most upset. Kuwabara, because he was first, and Hiei, because he was framed. The others are mad, too, and they have their reasons. They _all_ have their reasons.

Me?

Oh, I've mostly forgiven him.

I'm still mad at him, absolutely. He killed me on my _birthday_. He killed our _mother_. I'll always be mad, I'm sure.

But still, I've forgiven him. Why?

I believe in second chances.

We both got a second chance at life when we were born as humans. And he got a second chance at Heaven.

Sure, this completely destroyed my trust. I trusted him implicitly, and he used that to his advantage.

But the nice thing about second chances is that he can earn it back. It'll take him a while, but he _will_ earn it back.

Things'll never be the same, though. They can't _ever_ be the same. All of us – we'll all be afraid that he'll snap, do something like this again. Especially now, we'll be afraid; if you die in Heaven, you cease to exist.

But I know that if anything like this happens again, _I'll_ be ready to give him the benefit of the doubt.

- Kuramastrass -


End file.
